Breeding and capes

From a recent conversation with an Americorps friend:

Me: my issue right now is that i've finally managed to motivate some kids to write but can't help them all at once. 30:1 is a tough ratio, and group writing conferences haven't been going well

Friend: i think about 15% of the national workforce needs to be in eductation simply to reduce that number... and show the little people we're breeding that we're glad we bred them

Me: i think i'm going to start wearing a spandex jumpsuit and a cape to work

Their words can describe my days better than mine...

A small collection of my students' quotes:

Mid-lesson, a girl in the front row yells out, "Miss, why your eyelashes short some days and long some days? Today they short!"

"Miss, you my best teacher. I'm not even lyin'. You mad good."

Mid-lesson, I had the nerve to interrupt a gossip session between two of my students, and I got: "Stay out my business! No one's talkin' to you! You always startin' with me!"

"I'm not yellin'! THIS IS ME YELLIN'!!"

"Miss, you mad strict. You always writin' stuff and callin' people's houses-n-shit."

"I don't need you tellin' me what to do. You not my mother. Last time I checked, my mother was dead."

Some students recently discovered the circuit box and have taken to turning off the power in my room on a daily basis. Good times. Yet they still yell out, "This school broke. They can't even afford lights."

"Miss, you a good teacher. You sensitive, but you mad strict. Yours is the only class where we learn anything." (Maybe I should teach the verb "are" so I could accept that compliment with a warm fuzzy feeling instead of cringing at the bad grammar and feeling guilty that they haven't gotten that yet. :)

I called the office FIVE TIMES today, trying to get someone to come get the student in my class who was screaming at me, and I got the secretary's voicemail each time. Great message to the other students in the room. Do what you want. Your teacher has absolutely no power, and you can get away with anything in this school, consequence-free. Not to mention the huge safety hazard. What if I'd been calling someone to break up a fight? The only bldg. security is on the 1st floor. I'm on the 5th.

In summary...
I need a break. I'm burnt. And my eye twitch is back with a vengence. There are only a few feelings worse than the one you get when you're standing in front of 30 kids who are learning absolutely nothing, you're desperately trying to bring them back under control, and your eye is twitching like no one's business... Oh, then you go to the bathroom and discover that you've sat in gum, despite the half dozen 'ABSOLUTELY NO GUM IN 502' signs you've posted everywhere. That's a bad feeling. Just ONE more day with my 90 11-14 year-old darlings, then I'm homebound to see my cute, squishy baby nephew. SERENITY NOW!!!

Two Lucy Calkins days

Thursday and Friday of last week were, without question, the two greatest days of my (young) teaching career. I see two classes for double periods of English Language Arts every day. Until last week, those two classes had NEVER had a good day on the same day. Then Thursday happened. I don’t know how or why. The world must have fallen off its axis, the stars must have realigned, the gods of education must have smiled upon me. BOTH classes had a great day. Really great. They read. They wrote. They participated. They were into the lessons. (warning- eduspeak buzz words ahead) I “differentiated” my instruction. I had insightful, helpful one-on-one reading and writing conferences. The kids were actively engaged. They were thinking, talking, writing.

For those two glorious days, my classroom was functioning a lot like those that I’ve read about in so many professional development books. (Well, other than that my kids were reading and writing 2-4 years behind their grade level… details details!) I was so blown away by their performance that I even made them cookies to celebrate our decently productive week, and more importantly, our amazing two days. They loved the cookies. All was well. I went into work happy and ready for another three days just like Thursday and Friday to launch me into spring break on Wednesday afternoon wearing a big ole smile. No such luck. My kids sure hate their Mondays and everyone and everything they encounter on Mondays. But I want to keep this as a positive post, so yeah Thursday and Friday. Here’s my belated hurrah for those two magnificent days of successful teaching.